From then on it was downhill. I was abused mentally and physically, he made me feel like I was nothing. I went from being a bright, bubbly outgoing teen to a quiet self hating young girl behind closed doors. If I went out he would call me non stop, tell me to send him pictures to prove where I was it was horrible. He thought he was clever at the time, he would always hit me in the places where nobody would see. At the back of my legs, my arms, my back any where I could pretty much cover up.

One evening I went out with a friend and my phone battery died, I was in such a panic she kept asking me what was wrong and telling me not to worry we could call him once we got back to hers. Throughout the evening my worry began to lessen and I just decided to enjoy the night and deal with the consequences later. When we got back I charged up my phone and switched it on. Missed call texts flooded my phone as well as voicemails. My heart literally sank, I remember feeling dizzy and sick. I listened to voicemail after voicemail I could hear the anger and rage in his voice. 'You dumb slut, where the fuck are you' He shouted 'You out with boys yeah, I will fucking kill you when I see you' they just got worse and worse, so I switched off my phone and told my friend I was heading home.

I got to my front door around 11:30pm and I remember feeling this weird chill, I looked across the road and he was just sitting on he wall. I tried to quickly look for my keys but i couldnt get to them in my bag, and he had started coming towards me. My heart was racing and I literally just wanted to die. Calmly he looked at me and said 'Come lets take a walk' I told him I was cold and tired and just wanted to sleep, but he dragged me by my arm and I knew that was it. I wanted to scream but nothing came out I just walked and walked. At one point I went so numb I just stared into the air, i felt like I was floating towards my death. He punched and kicked, continuously poked me in my head, called me worthless and disgusting. He pushed me to the ground, I had mud all over my jeans and hands. I prayed for someone to walk through the park, anyone just anyone, but nobody came. It felt like It was happening forever, but finally he stopped. Maybe he got tired, maybe he got bored, I don't know but he punched me in the back I stumbled forwards and he told me to Fuck off. I walked so fast and I cried so hard. It felt like I got home within seconds, I opened the front door went inside and just cried my eyes out. My mum was fast asleep, I washed up climbed in to bed and I cried myself to sleep in a ball feeling battered and bruised. 7am the next morning my mum popped her head in to my room and whispered 'bye Vanessa i will see you later' with the covers drawn tightly over my head I mumbled bye.

Every day was a struggle every day a new problem, he would get annoyed over the most smallest things. He would trash my room simply because he knew I liked it organized and tidy. Some days he would be a completely different person. He would buy me gifts, take me out, we would even go for walks in the same park that he would hit me in, write me letters, gosh he was an absolute angel in front of my family. But I knew the truth. Nearly every time he touched me I felt sick. I felt empty, alone, tired all time, the life was literally slowly being drained away from me.

I honestly don't know why I didn't reach out I guess I was scared and embarrassed. I was blinded by life itself , we were both young and trying to find ourselves but this excuses nothing. I was at such a low point in my life that I allowed him to treat me like a punch bag, walk all over me and it just continued. The mental and physical abuse became normal to me, I learnt to deal with it, I learnt how to lie to family and friends the ones who loved and cared for me most. I smiled through the pain and pretended that everything was ok. I set alarms on my phone to remember to call him, I wore long sleeved tops to cover any bruising and I just adjusted to the pain. School days were school days. I continued to be the loud, confident girl in public and cried as soon as i got home. It was the end of an era, It was time for college.